As a career educator, I have welcomed inquiries and observations from my students, the more unhinged and honest the better, truly, because they are not holding back an ounce. My personal favorite was many years ago when an early elementary student approached me, pointed to my hearing aids and went on to inform me: “I know why you have those things in your ears…when you were in your mother’s stomach, you were a BAD EGG!” His confidence in his statement and his unbridled enthusiasm to share this theory was so refreshing – and still makes me smile all these years later, especially as he is currently at the age where he may well have children of his own.
I wish I could tell you that this was the strangest thing that has ever happened to me as a hearing aid wearer – but if it was, I wouldn’t have a blog entry to write today…interestingly enough, two stories that are at the top of the bizarre list were perpetuated by adults…
I was in one of my past places of employment some years back, and a fellow colleague with whom I had a minimally familiar working relationship with walked up to me while I was seated at a table, leaned over, tapped her finger on the over-the-ear machine of the hearing aid, said “huh” to herself and walked away. I was in such a state of stunned silence that I could not even muster a reaction – either verbally or otherwise – to that encounter. I never addressed it with this individual because I was just so floored by the complete lack of awareness, respect and personal space. I still cannot believe that my autonomy and existence as a singular, independent entity was boldly breached.
Oh, but there was one even stranger…
I was in an eclectic shop stuffed to the brim with all manner of artwork, collectibles and tchotchkes the other day. I was standing towards the front of the store examining a shelf of nautical decorations, when my left hearing aid decided to start screeching its high pitched squeal which I am sure caught the attention of every dog in a 5 mile radius. This wailing is usually set off by a myriad of occurrences including, but not limited to, the following: moisture in the plastic tubing, my hair has fallen over the microphone, a crack in the tubing, hearing aid batteries losing power…and a million other things. Fortunately, most of the time I can conduct a fast assessment and make a quick fix by adjusting my hair, the tubes or the mold inside my ears.
At this particular moment, I had tilted my head towards my left shoulder and was trying to move my hair away from the microphone to finally silence this siren song. I righted myself and resumed my browsing, but I was blissfully unaware that I was being observed by a sales associate. I jumped when I heard a scratchy clearing of a throat which caused me to turn towards the origin of the sound, where I was met by a woman staring at me quizzically with a puzzled look on her face.
Once again, as happens a million times during the course of a day, I had a split second to make a decision about whether or not I was going to disclose my hearing loss and offer some feeble statement about what I was doing while I was paused in front of the merchandise or just smile and keep moving along (or out the door) through this store. I was mercifully (or so I thought) spared from the decision making process, as the employee offered this gem of a statement:
“Oh! I thought you were a pirate with a parrot on your shoulder! The way you were tilting your head!”
I stared at her blankly, doing a rapid self-assessment to make sure that I was indeed awake and functioning in reality and that I hadn’t taken any mind-altering substances causing a hallucinatory episode, as I literally could not believe my ears.
The salesperson took my silence as my not hearing her, and ventured to repeat (louder, this time and with the enthusiasm one employs when speaking to a small child):
“OH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A PIRATE! YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU HAD A PARROT ON YOUR SHOULDER! BECAUSE YOU WERE TILTING YOUR HEAD!”
I have now determined that I have not consumed anything that would lead to an alternate reality, that I was out of my bed and this was not a bad dream, and that this woman was pushing me to my personal edge of reason and thus towards a disclosure that I was not in any mood to make in that moment –
I responded patiently and calmly (for me, anyway) with, “Nope. No parrot. Just a hearing aid adjustment, thank you…”. I let my voice trail off as I pivoted and walked on through the store.
There are so many moments in my day where I have to make the fast decision over whether it is worth it or not to disclose my hearing loss – and each one is as exhausting as the one that came before it. I am constantly assessing if it is worth it or not to reveal the hearing loss as most of the time my hair is down over my ears, rendering my hearing aids nearly invisible. The vast majority of the time, I am in complete control over disclosing or not – but in this instance, I was encountered by such a bizarre interaction that I wasn’t really left with a choice partly because I needed to clarify for this person that I did not, indeed, have a parrot on my shoulder nor was I a customer that warranted further monitoring as I moved through the remainder of the shop.
I never thought I would say this – but human interaction as a person with a hearing impairment is really starting to wear me down, and I am wondering if those that prefer solitude and books may be on to something…sometimes it is just too “peopley” out there in the world.
Check out Brad’s experiences here: https://bradmckenna.wordpress.com/2024/08/26/stranger-things-too/
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