Grandma had a direct line to the divine and was on a first name basis with every saint, angel, and the Holy Family themselves at all times of the day or night. She was devoted but not pious or a “holier than thou” type because she possessed a passion for laughter and a sense of adventure not unsimilar to my own. Grandma’s reverence was evident during worship and prayer, as well as in her daily routines – particularly at 3:00 p.m. when “General Hospital” came on the television set. I learned quickly as a child that unless the riveting storyline of Anna and Scorpio was rudely interrupted by a news report detailing the end of the world, I was on my own until the end of “her story”. Grandma was not to be deterred from prayer or “General Hospital” – both were sins in the eyes of those above.
Grandma was also a woman with ideas. Grandma had IDEAS with a CAPITAL “I”. And when Grandma came across some trouble, she had a solution – because she had some IDEAS – and your best defense was to fall in line with her and go along for the ride, wherever it was going to take you. And in the case of my hearing loss? Well – we were going to visit some healers.
I was very young – likely around 4 or 5 years old – Grandma drew upon her famous IDEAS and felt that placing me in situations where I was surrounded by prayer and faithful persons would help improve my situation.
(Now – before I continue, I want to point out that I am a person of strong faith and I do believe in the power of prayer – this story is what I remember vividly as a child and is not meant to be taken as a satire or sarcastic commentary on religion.)
Grandma swept me up, Grandchild #7, in a whirlwind of a ride that involved a lot of incense, old people, and handling of my ears.
It all started with Mass in the house. The wine – I can still taste the bread soaked in that sour wine resting on my tongue all these years later. That dark berry color that stains everything it touches remains vivid in my mind. I know in this recollection that we are at my Grandma’s house and in her dining room. There are adults standing around me, and I am a little unsure of why everyone is paying attention to me when suddenly I feel my ears being cupped by very large and very warm hands. No one offered any explanation about what this was and why it was happening…so I stood there, compliant as always and waited for an explanation that never came.
And such was my first healing experience – for Grandma had called upon the divine above to intercede. And here I stood with stale bread that tastes vile and sour with a man’s hands cupping my ears. There was a reverence in the air, a hush of sorts – and I remember looking around thinking, “And…now what?”
Well. Guess what? Still Deaf after that little episode.
Grandma was not to be defeated because remember – she had IDEAS – and she demanded a return on her investment of her faith – so before I knew it, I was again off on another adventure with Grandma leading the charge and The Aunties bringing up the rear.
This time I was in a massive church with a domed roof – I remember looking up and thinking that I was actually inside a jelly roll dessert. I don’t remember if there was a service that day, but there was something else going on inside that building that was beyond the scope of what I could comprehend at my young age. There was a lot of crying, wailing and shaking going on with the people that were at the front of the church.
Once again, I had no explanation as to what was going to happen to me and I watched as everyone that went to the front began to cry, wail, shake and who knows what else. I remember walking out of the pew and starting the march down the center aisle of the church. My Aunt Toots was in front leading the charge, Grandma next to me in the middle, and Aunt Toni the closing rank of this brigade. The next thing I know, I am in front of a guy in a dress – which I realize sometime later was actually a priest – and now HIS hands are cupped again over my ears. His hands were not warm like the first Padre, but once again there were hands over my ears. I stood there, compliantly, and..still can’t hear anything. There was no shaking or wailing from me that day at the front of the church – just standing their patiently waiting for the next bit of action to come on my adventure with Grandma and The Aunties.
I am confident that there were more attempts and visits to healers because Grandma was undeterred in her efforts, but these were the two that stood out to me in my memory that I could confidently bring to life on these pages.
I had an epiphany of sorts back in 2016 after a particularly horrible hearing test when I learned that my hearing had plummeted significantly. I realized, with such clarity, that Grandma’s magnificent efforts and prayers actually worked, though not in the way that was immediately obvious. My hearing loss is degenerative, but I have been blessed beyond measure to this point to have had so many years with such a great quality of life and access to the most up-to-date technologies to help sustain my connection to the world before it becomes permanently silent. That is the power of prayers at work, and I am forever grateful to Grandma for her sincere, determined and loving persistence – however off-beat at times – to ensure that I had every chance to be blessed. I guess this was one of her famous ideas that worked out alright in the end.
In loving memory of my Grandma, Angelina Nigro DeMatteo
While I wish that Brad had known my Grandma, as I think they would have gotten along like a house on fire, he did dive into this topic with me this week a bit – his focuses on Intention – have a read here: https://bradmckenna.wordpress.com/?p=6604
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