There are many things that keep me up at night when I let my mind wander to the fast approaching reality of my world being plunged into silence – and losing the ability to hear and experience music is at the top of that list.
Music is my lifeline.
That is probably a surprising statement from someone with a severe hearing loss, but for me it is the force that keeps me grounded. I am always playing music in the car, at home, streaming to my hearing aids via Bluetooth while I am working on projects, out for a walk with Rocky, or zipping around the grocery store aisles. I dance freely and sing loudly (my enthusiasm makes up for my sheer lack of attention to staying on key) – and when I really get going, Rocky joins in the cacophony with a tune of his own, usually in the form of anxious barking and those big eyes pleading with me to please stop!
My musical library looks like a thrift store as it holds tunes from every imaginable era and style. I paused while writing this passage and hit “shuffle” to see what comes up – here are the 7 songs that played during this interlude:
- “Over the Rainbow” – Ray Charles
- “Just a Girl” – No Doubt
- “Bird on a Wire” – Leonard Cohen
- “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” – Frank Sinatra
- “Call Me the Breeze” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
- “Hallelujah” – Il Divo
- “Carousel Man” – Cher
I grew up listening to a wide variety of music from traditional standards to country classics (Dad’s Willie Nelson phase was a memorable one…) with the likes of Carly Simon, James Taylor, The Beatles, Bread, Duran Duran, Billy Joel, Jim Croce, and Manhattan Transfer mixed into the rotation to name a few.
I have many memories of my Mom plopping me on the living room couch, affixing headphones to my head, and handing me an opera libretto or sheet music for classic musicals. She would then drop a record onto the turntable with a flourish, and I would be flooded in sound. The librettos and sheet music sets allowed me to follow along with the music and become enveloped in a sweeping, lyrical story. These are core memories for me that shaped my musical tastes, offered some cultural education, and allowed me to lose myself and leave the stressors of my hearing loss behind for a blissful hour or two.
Through it all, there has been one constant – my beloved Frank Sinatra. Frank’s silky smooth voice, raw emotion, and sheer coolness grabbed my attention when I was young, and has been my constant companion throughout my life. Frank has not only given me the gift of his talents, but I blame him for my affinity for smooth talking, blue eyed men (though none that I have encountered have had even an ounce of Frank’s effortless coolness, although one in particular thinks he does…I’ll leave it to the readers who know me well to figure out who that might be…). Throughout my life, there has not been a single situation, mood, or moment that was not instantly improved by throwing some Sinatra on to enhance my personal soundtrack.
In honor of the one and only Francis Albert Sinatra, I present to you a rerelease of a blog I wrote a few years back using titles of songs that Ol’ Blue Eyes himself recorded:
“No One Ever Tells You” that with a disability you may live “Moment to Moment” and long for “The Good Times”. “Night After Night” I lie awake with my “Head on My Pillow” and accept that while “I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues” more often than not “I Whistle a Happy Tune” because my Grandma taught me when I was very young that “When You’re Smiling” the whole world smiles with you.
“It Never Entered My Mind” that I may be “All Alone” for “As Long As I Live” without my one true love. It hit me hard “Yesterday” that “This Is the Beginning of the End” and that I may have “A Hundred Years From Now” or only “Five Minutes More” to spend time in his company. He is my strength “Come Rain or Come Shine” and has been by my side “Every Day of My Life”. “Time After Time” being with “This Love of Mine” is “A Lovely Way to Spend an Evening” “Come Rain or Come Shine”. “He’s My Guy” and life will be “Half as Lovely” without him. “I’ll Never Be the Same” if we suddenly face “The Last Dance”
It would be “Nice ‘n’ Easy” to sit around and lament the passing of “The Days of Wine and Roses” and yearn “For the Good Times”. “I Could Write a Book” as I sit “Among My Souvenirs” and “Forget to Remember” that “It Was a Very Good Year”. And then I think to myself, “Should I?” “I’ll Never Be The Same” if I start “Learnin’ the Blues” and get lost in a “Melancholy Mood”.
I refuse to be that “Old School Teacher”, sitting around in “The House I Live In” wrapped up in “My Shawl” looking “Out Beyond the Window” at a “Pale Moon” letting life “Pass Me By”. Instead, I try to “Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive” and “Dig Down Deep” “Every Day of My Life” and remind myself that “The Best is Yet to Come”. “I Sing The Songs” and high kick my way into that “Same Old Song and Dance” because “They Can’t Take That Away From Me”, “This Thing I Love” that is just “Too Marvelous for Words”.
From “I’ve Got You Under my Skin” to “The Lady is a Tramp” – Frank Sinatra has always been and always will be the love of my life. His music is forever in my soul and I will always have Frank close to me once my world drifts into silence. In words delivered in that signature smooth tenor, “May you live to be 100 – and may the last voice you hear be mine.”
It will be, Frank – it will be.
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