I stared at my phone, willing it to transform into a magical portal I could step through, have the necessary conversation and slip back into reality. I scoured the website for a customer service email address, a live chat feature, an option to send a message via carrier pigeon, and even glanced around to see if Scotty could “beam me up”. No such luck.
I would have to make a phone call to customer service.
I’d rather stick my nostrils together with crazy glue (thanks to Weird Al for that turn of phrase).
By way of background, I have severe, life threatening food allergies which makes traveling challenging. I need to bring, prepare and consume my own food. I do not have the luxury of grabbing a cup of coffee and a doughnut or joining my travel companions in lingering over local favorites in a restaurant due to the risk of cross contamination leading to anaphylaxis in even the most well-meaning, accommodating food establishments. The risk is too high so I am relegated to assembling a “mobile kitchen” each time I travel. I try to stay in home rentals or suites with full kitchens or a kitchenette to make food preparation a little easier, but it is not always possible.
I am traveling soon, and I booked this particular hotel due to its proximity to the event I will be attending, but I was unable to determine what amenities came with the room after a thorough review of the website. At a minimum, I require a mini-fridge and microwave, otherwise I would be left with room temperature, pre-made protein shakes and Ritz crackers as meal options. With the trip dawning in a few short weeks, there was an urgency in determining if my room had a refrigerator or microwave, at a minimum, to support my creative culinary concoctions while traveling and allow for some variety in meals and snacks.
As mentioned, the website was vague in its information, and I have learned from past experiences that even if an amenity is listed it does not always guarantee that it is available in the hotel room I may be assigned upon arrival.
Thus, the phone call that I did not want to make.
Brad and I despise the phone for so many reasons, all of which we have discussed during an episode on our weekly show, “Hearing Things with Julie and Brad” – have a watch here. The phone removes our ability to lipread and take cues from facial expressions and nonverbal cues. The phone also brings muffled sounds, background noise, unfamiliar voices, foreign accents, and occasional mumblers (like my brother, Joe). These factors combined make an already challenging situation completely miserable, frustrating, and anxiety-provoking. In recent years, there has been a shift to text-based communication through text-messaging, emails, and live chat features but unfortunately, the phone still remains a necessity in certain situations.
Hence, the phone call I was actively resisting completing.
After a half-hearted pep talk that consisted of whispering to myself, “pick up the goddamn phone…” – I went for it. Deep breaths, pressed the green button, and connected with the front desk of the hotel.
I led with my usual disclosure of my hearing loss in rapid fire speech, deflating my breath – “Hello, my name is Julie Lane, I will be staying at your hotel, and had a few questions. Please be aware that I do wear two hearing aids and experience difficulty on the phone, your patience is appreciated.” The voice on the other end responded, in a lilting and difficult to understand accent, “Ok.” (Another moment of dehumanizing disclosure in the books, it seemed).
Undeterred, I forged ahead with my questions about the room amenities, and was asked for my confirmation number (I think) – I rattled it off anyway, fingers crossed that it was the information sought. I was met with silence (again), and the voice then asked for the confirmation number, thus negating my magical powers of predictability during a call with customer service. I was assured that all rooms have a microwave and mini-fridge, so I need not be concerned (I think that was what was said?).
I ended the call and sat back in my chair completely drained.
I hope I have a microwave and refrigerator. I’ll find out upon arrival.
If not, pass the Ritz crackers…
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