Kindly read or re-read this blog post about my first experience with the movie, The Dark Crystal, for the background prior to continuing to read this blog post: https://deafbutnotreally.blog/2024/09/23/the-dark-side-of-the-muppets/
For the past 42 years, The Dark Crystal has lurked in the dark and dusty margins of my childhood memories. I have remained steadfast in my blatant refusal to watch this movie now that it has captions, a feature notably absent from nearly all media offerings back in the summer of 1983. The very thought of even laying my eyes on this film again raises bile in the back of my throat and triggers my fight or flight response.
I finally relented my position in my personal standoff against this movie, and decided to watch this cinematic work in order to move past my energy sapping vendetta and to see what the fuss is all about with this film. I decided to step over my long-held picket line for the purpose of the work that Brad and I have been doing through our “Hearing Things with Julie and Brad” multi-layered collaboration.
Brad’s brother, Tom, generously located a captioned version of The Dark Crystal, and on a winter evening I trudged over to watch this godforsaken movie with a thinly veiled scowl on my face. I grabbed the now infamous “Hearing Things with Julie and Brad” emotional support Star Wars notebook, and my favorite blue pen. I figured that I would approach this surely to be a miserable event with the enthusiasm of sitting through a lecture about a non-preferred subject. I knew that I would have to pay just enough attention to gather notes and maybe with this singular purpose I could minimize the disdain I felt as the opening credits began to reveal themselves on the screen.
From the first line of the movie, I was thrown back to the drive-in theater on Cape Cod in the summer of 1983. I was a little girl again, optimistic and excited to see my first movie from the family van. I could feel my two long ponytails swishing over my shoulders as I wiped my greasy popcorn stained fingers on my terry shorts. I once again felt myself sitting up straighter, waiting for the movie to start, and immediately felt the flash of frustration, grief and acceptance that the tinny and garbled sounds coming from the low quality speakers attached to the side windows of our vehicle were insufficient for my little ears to pick up and comprehend, even with my little kid hearing aids firmly in place. I felt my eyes squint once again behind my horn rimmed glasses, staring at the screen through the windshield, desperately trying to lipread the muppets to try to figure out what is going on in the movie despite being unable to hear it at all. I felt the deflation of my 8 year old body as I accepted that while my family watched the movie, it would be best for me to retreat to the back seat with a flashlight and my ever present pile of books.
In the present day, on the corner of “my spot” on the couch, I felt hot tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, which I fought back quickly. I knew if I did not regain my composure I was going to dissolve in a puddle of tears. Luckily, neither Tom nor Brad caught my eye and thus remained blissfully unaware of my reaction to the start of this movie and the ensuing flashback. I was shocked by the waves of sadness and anxiety that flooded over me, I did not expect that visceral reaction.
As the movie progressed, and the flashbacks continued, I realized that the character voices were incredibly difficult to understand even with the caption supporting the dialogue. The voices were garbled, guttural, and unclear as the characters spoke in indeterminate accents. At one point I was unsure if I was just reading the captions and tuning out the auditory component. I forced myself to ignore the captions and just listen to the characters to see if I could understand them without the text backup. I was not able to make out a single word clearly, but Tom was able to understand them perfectly with his typical hearing. I was unsure if my inability to hear high pitched sounds and my diminishing ability to hear speech clarity was to blame, but then reached the conclusion that the cause mattered less than the fact that I could not hear them.
I attempted to “lip read” the puppets, and just as they live on in my memory, their lips opened and closed like a lid on a hinge. I watched the mouth of Jen, a humanoid character, and noticed that its mouth formed a shape akin to bubble blowing and then stretched out in a straight line while speaking. There was a little bit of lip movement but not enough to create discernible speech.
As the film continued and the storyline evolved, I realized that the crystal was not the only thing dark about this movie – it dealt with complex themes including eradication of populations, death, and slavery amongst others. This was a film that was multilayered and what a child may have seen as entertaining and a hero’s quest, as an adult it was heavier than anticipated and a deviation from what I know as the muppets – Kermit and Miss Piggy were nowhere to be found in this saga.
A bright spot was the character of Augrah – she is impossible to describe, but I am convinced that she was loosely based on my personality. My watching companions dissolved into giggles when I mentioned that I identified strongly with Augrah – I knew they were thinking the same thing and didn’t dare say it aloud! (For the curious, here is my favorite clip of Augrah absolutely handling business with a gleeful tongue lashing – and for those that know me well, this may look more than a little familiar: https://youtu.be/rGLcQxDLEeI
The movie finished, and as the credits rolled, I felt compelled to find the date when it became mandated that new media be closed captioned. I was shocked to learn that the date was January 1, 2006 – 23 years after my devastating experience at a drive-in theater. I was hit with a wave of emotions ranging from disbelief to sadness to frustration at all of the experiences that I was shut out of and how the solution was for me to make an adjustment to another activity or “do my best” to enjoy the experience in spite of it being completely inaccessible. I am thrilled that things are changing, however slowly, but the rate of progress is completely unacceptable. I was unable to articulate all of this to Tom or Brad at the moment because I was desperate to avoid a complete meltdown, so held this information to myself until I was able to return home and commit it to writing in this blog post.
Overall, I am glad that I was able to revisit The Dark Crystal, but if this was not connected to our project there is no way I would have opted to view this movie of my own accord.
I wish that I could reach back in time, gather that little girl in a hug, and whisper to her “It gets better, I promise.”
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