My very first hearing aid was fitted to my right ear in 1978 – a Qualitone SA, which while effective it was a bit large and clunky for my little head. I remember that it was housed inside a fancy black box lined with red velvet and upon opening it one would have expected to find a glittering diamond necklace or ruby studded tennis bracelet. Technically, my little hearing aid could have been classified as jewelry as it was something to be seen, worn, and cost quite a bit of money – but it did not dazzle in the light or wink in the sun because it was beige. The saddest, most mundane, and mildly depressing shade of the color spectrum – beige.
My second hearing aid, a Qualitone TSM, was gingerly placed inside my left ear in 1981, rendering me a newly minted bilateral hearing aid user. My memory serves that it also came in a luxurious, velvet lined hinged box and I recall the hard case would snap shut quickly. I needed to be nimble in closing the case to spare my little fingers from getting pinched between the seams. The color of the mold and the hearing aid were decidedly, morbidly and boringly beige.
As time marched on and my hearing continued its inevitable and unavoidable plummet, I switched between hearing aid brands every few years, in the ongoing race to match the current level of loss with the most efficient, updated technology. I left Qualitone hearing aids behind for a new pair of Siemens aids. Through the years I cycled away from Siemens to Widex and then Oticon, finally landing on my beloved Phonak brand aids. I am on my third pair of Phonak aids, and the proprietary sound offered by Phonak allows me to hear the world in what sounds “normal” to my deteriorating ears. Unfortunately, because I require the largest aids available, they are not manufactured in any other tone but beige.
A few years back, I trudged into my audiologist’s office, lamenting to myself that I will forever be resigned to beige molds and beige hearing aids. I envied those that could wear smaller, daintier hearing aids in a bold color. I yearned for the stripes, polka dots and glitter that I spotted in the ears of hearing-aid wearing children. Alas, it was not to be, and it left me riffing to myself, “It’s Not Easy Being Beige.” In what can only be a response from the fates, on my audiologist’s desk was a catalog, and my lack of impulse control when it comes to touching everything worked in my favor. I thumbed through it, and it fell open to a page of colorful moldings. At a glance, it was “children’s molds”…but inspiration struck.
My always patient audiologist readied the materials necessary to make the mold impressions that would be sent off to the factory and boring, beige molds would be returned to me once again…but today, things were going to be different. I brought up the colorful molds I had seen on children wearing hearing aids and I ranted about the smaller, less powerful hearing aids being available in a variety of colors…and then I gestured to the catalog page wildly, while saying “I want these. All of them!”
A phone call was made and a reassurance was uttered that any and all combinations shown in the catalog could be made in “grown up sizes”. I was elated, and inspiration struck – I landed on bright white loaded with glitter – my nod to “Elsa” from the movie of the moment, “Frozen”. As an elementary teacher, I knew this would be a crowd pleaser with my 1st graders. The moment those magical, fantastical, and utterly fabulous molds graced my ears I knew I would never again return to the staid, plain, beige option. In the time since, I have cycled through light pink with glitter; ocean blue with glitter; and now bright hot pink with glitter. The colors may change, but the glitter is a constant. Obviously, this Jules needs some jewels!
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