I have long bemoaned lack of hard of hearing representation in all forms of media – from books to films and everything in between. I was ecstatic to have had the opportunity to watch the documentary “We Hear You” written by Shari Eberts and directed by Caroline Cordero. This award winning documentary captures the stories of three women living with hearing loss, told in their own words. I sat up a little straighter as the film unfurled, ecstatic that this was a production done by members of our community for members of our community – which seems to be an unfortunate rarity.
Brad and I have put our stories out in video format to a much smaller audience, and while we have not received any rewards for our work, we know first hand the sheer courage coupled with grace and nerves of steel that is required to speak honestly and transparently about hearing loss to a wider, unknown audience. We often feel as though we are speaking into the void, and hoping that whomever hears us on the other side benefits from the information that is being shared. This film achieved what we hope we are putting out in our own work – the combination of education and information presented from primary sources.
I found comfort in hearing others talk about multiple through lines of our shared hearing loss experiences. I appreciated that the participants covered many common themes that I have experienced in my own life with hearing loss – from stigmatization to being offered an ASL interpreter at the mention of being hearing impaired.There were a number of relatable examples, including one of the participants not realizing that the refrigerator door makes a noise upon opening and closing – this threw me right back to when I made the shift from analog to digital technology. I learned within a few moments that the world was a very noisy place, and I had missed a large amount of it prior to my first pair of digital aids. It is always a challenge to convey to those with typical hearing how hard it is to manage and navigate, particularly in social situations. I balk against any type of “simulation exercise” to have those with typical hearing “experience hearing loss” by putting on headphones or some other nonsense – but I did appreciate the detailed description provided in the film about the challenges of eating in a restaurant. This was one of the few examples I have heard that truly conveys the hearing loss experience in a social situation.
On a personal level, I was struck that once again I am unable to see my specific story represented in the media. I do not remember a life before hearing aids, and I have never heard authentically with my biological ears. I do not have any family members with hearing loss either in modern or past times, and therefore I have had no one that could empathize with my loss. It is really hard to not be able to point to at least one figure in my ancestral line to say, “aha! THAT is where my story began!”. My hearing loss was sudden onset, with no known cause. I am not late deafened and as of now I do not qualify for cochlear implants. And – unlike many that I have met in the hearing loss community – I have NEVER shrunk back from my hearing loss. I have been a very vocal advocate for my hearing needs since I was a child, and have charged forward through my life treating my hearing loss as a nuisance, not as a stigma or thing that should be hidden away. I have long dismissed any concern of what others might think of me – a likely byproduct of surviving extreme childhood bullying and adopting dismissal of others’ opinions as a self-preservation tactic. On the flip side of all of this power, I have also never stopped to sit with the grief that comes with a degenerative hearing loss. It is only recently that I have started to even slightly let sadness, vulnerability, and fear slip to the surface as I acknowledge the difficulties of living a life with hearing loss – however well lived it may be.
I have lived my life in the “in between” – I am medically deaf, but not culturally Deaf. I use the term “hearing impaired” as opposed to the accepted “hard of hearing.” And I have spent my life connected to the “hearing world” – but the mental gymnastics required to survive in that environment is a level of indescribable exhaustion.
I know that my story is unfolding through the work that Brad and I are doing with our blog posts, long form videos, social media posts, and presentations. I hope to one day follow the advice of author Beverly Cleary – “If you don’t see the book on the shelf, write it” and contribute to the literary canon with books about hearing loss.
I suppose the same could hold true for media representation – to paraphrase the wonderful Ms. Cleary – “If I don’t see the movie in the theater, make it”. I would be more than willing to participate in a part 2 of “We Hear You”or something similar – I love a great spotlight moment!
In closing, many thanks to all involved with “We Hear You” for bringing our community forward, especially Shari, Toni, Roxana and Holly for valuing their stories enough to bravely share them with the world. (And a special shout out to our friend Peggy – we squealed with delight when she popped up on the screen in a few photos!)
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