Julie’s Side of the Story
I have been blessed with the personality and energy level of a Boston Terrier puppy – overly enthusiastic, goofy, charming, the just right amount of mischief and ability to “cute my way” out of pretty much anything with a disarming smile. This has won me many friends and has afforded me to have many zany adventures and a catalog of entertaining and often mildly inappropriate stories to draw upon at cocktail parties as I’ve moved through this life over the past 50 (gasp!) years. Ironically, though I am surrounded by so many, there are countless times when during the in-between moments I have felt quite alone and adrift. It likely surprises many that the loudest person in the room is the quietest when the world becomes silent each night when I remove my hearing aids.
As my hearing has continued its eventual decline, it is during the late hours when the reality sets in that I am descending at an undetermined rate into complete silence in a loud and chaotic world. And that is a lonely and scary place to be especially when you are The Other in the family structure and friend group – the only one with a hearing loss, completely adrift in the sea of the greater world that is decidedly not designed with my needs in mind. I have an incredible support system in my closest friends and family members who serve as my lifeboats, life jackets and life preservers as I float along on the sea of life – but what I really needed, without realizing it, was a co-captain for the SS Can’t Hear Anything sailing vessel to help with navigation, avoiding the icebergs, and bailing water out of the hatch.
I shall begin the background of our origin story borrowing from the incomparable Estelle Getty in her perfected turn as Sofia Petrillo on the “Golden Girls” – “Picture it, Bedford, 2000-something”…when I had the absolute privilege of making the acquaintance of one Venus – a connection that blossomed into a friendship and support system that few are fortunate to have in their lives. Over the years, I fell into an easy friendship with her partner, Tom. I was peripherally aware that Tom had a brother with a hearing loss but our paths never crossed.
Then, “Trying Things With Tom” hit the internet – Tom’s masterful video clip series where he tries different foods and cracks me up on a weekly basis. Simultaneously, Venus casually mentioned Tom’s brother, Brad, to me and suggested that we connect due to both being hearing aid wearers. As with most things in an Italian’s life, food and laughter are at the heart of the best moments – so one day, after introductions were made over text – I messaged Brad off the cuff in my typical impulsive and humorous way spurned by my incessant desire to share anything that pops into my brain. The message said: “We should do a podcast. If Tom can eat food we can come up with something!” I was met with no response. Undeterred, I waited exactly 11 hours before I sent the next message, which said “I’m doubling down on the podcast after the New Year…”Hearing Things with Brad and Julie” – Tom can do a cameo appearance and we can listen to him chew.” It was a joke with a fringe possibility of maybe it developing from a nothing to a something. I never thought it would go anywhere and that it would go the way of some of my other wild ideas that I throw out in moments of impulsive inspiration to see what sticks. Truthfully, as the months flew by, I forgot about the entire exchange (and Brad..sorry, buddy).
Venus circled back to the idea in the Spring of 2024 and mentioned us doing something together centered around our hearing loss. From the far reaches of my memory, I pulled forward the thought again and we connected in May 2024 once again through text, made our first in-person acquaintance at a party, and then once again life got in the way and this was shoved again away in the messy file drawers of my splendidly cluttered gray matter.
It started with a shrug. I now term it “The Shrug of Understanding”. A nonverbal communication that carried with it an instant connection. We were in my living room continuing the celebration in a smaller group of friends following a very loud, animated, and energetic July 4th celebration complete with a live band, delicious food and even better company. (The exact type of event that energizes me to the hilt – and, as I would eventually learn, puts Brad over the edge of reason – but we’ll get there…). We ended up seated next to each other while we were both independently trying to follow multiple conversations. In what can only have been the hand of fate – we turned to one another and at the same moment, just shrugged and threw our hands up in the air and instantly felt that immediate recognition of a fellow traveler. A silent “Oh! There you are!” followed by relief and a feeling of having found The Other One That Gets It. From that moment, a show was born – as was the surprising partnership of an extroverted teacher and an introverted librarian.
That instant set off a pile of firecrackers that have been going off ever since that has led to an incredible undertaking developing a video clip series punctuated with planning, talking, texting, listening, plotting, creating, and learning about one another as we slowly unfurl our personalities, preferences, and quirks. We cautiously approached our first recordings with a mix of fear and sheer nerve. I have the showmanship of a circus ring leader and rely on Brad’s thoughtful reflections and background knowledge that rivals an encyclopedia to keep things informative, coherent, and on-topic. My brain flies around at breakneck speed and I live in a world of fast paced communication in words and ideas. Brad is the technological wizard and detail manager of the operation. The easy rapport in our presentation is evident from the first minute of our first video – and no one was more surprised than us that we truly pulled it off.
On the surface, at first glance, we are an unexpected pairing with Brad standing at the height of an oak tree when positioned next to me who can barely see above the steering wheel even with the seat at full height. He burns easily and despises the beach and heat, while I am in a sweatshirt when it is 70 degrees and seek the ocean like a newly hatched sea turtle. I am gregarious, loud and have a presence while Brad is introspective, reserved, and an observer. I can’t wait to go out and see what the world has in store for us, while Brad’s singular goal is to go back home to his beer and his books.
It really shouldn’t work. But it does. Venus described us as the yin and yang, and there really is no better description. And for that, I am forever grateful to have found the Bert to my Ernie* (scroll down for the meme that captures it all) – a connection rooted in our differences and found similarities.
I cannot wait to see what is ahead for “Hearing Things with Julie and Brad” – and the many adventures, mishaps, and ridiculousness we find along the way (with forced moments of silence from me by a virtual kick under the table to “settle down” from Brad).
If you would like to follow along with us – and you should, honestly, it’s nothing if not entertaining – join our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/484001504321168
You can also subscribe on YouTube directly at: https://www.youtube.com/@hearingthingswithjulieandbrad
If you prefer, we also have a weekly email distribution list that will automatically send you the YouTube link each Friday when our new episodes drop – send us an email at: jlanebceagles96@gmail.com and you will be added to the list!
And because Brad has taken a liking to Haiku (while I despise poetry) – in the spirit of teamwork I offer this to you, his words:
Hearing things with us
is never completely right
eggcorns then abound!
(And our Muppet equivalents..)
Brad’s Side of the Story
For years, oh about 43 to be precise, I’ve felt that I don’t have to find my people. I’m a straight white cis-dude. The world is made for people like me.
I heard a critique of Critical Race Theory a while back. If there’s a history seen through the lens of BIPOC there should be a history seen through the lens of white people.
There is.
It’s called history.
So, why oh why, does a society made for me exhaust me? Because it’s not made for me. Not really. It’s made for extroverts. I’m an introvert. But more to the point of this post, it’s made for people with baseline hearing. I have hearing loss.
Last December my life entered what’s called the Trough of Disillusionment in tech circles. Both my work and personal lives were in free fall. And I couldn’t see where I’d land, which is particularly uncomfortable for a dude afraid of heights! But my Karma was kind and the ride down to the Trough was a fast one. I was able to use that speed to whiz passed my shattered self-confidence and reach out to the HLAA. I’ve been writing about the incredible gains I’ve made thanks to that.
Now I want to talk about another incroyable gain I’ve made.
Methinks it was in December that a friend put me in touch with a friend of hers. Venus thought Julie and I would be great friends through the bond of hearing loss. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if she weren’t spot on! While the catalyst for the friendship was indeed our shared hearing loss, it’s become much more than that. But I’m not here to imitate an afterschool special on the benefits of friendship.
I’m here to talk about Hearing Things.
Hearing Things with Julie and Brad.
Once she got to know me, she got inspiration from my brother’s show Trying Things with Tom. She suggested we collaborate and create our own show where we talk about our hearing loss. I said yes, because I always say yes when someone asks for help. Even though I have major qualms about appearing on screen. Remember how I said my self-confidence had been shattered in December? Well it’s always been about as solid as the candy glass used in movies. I’m always so embarrassed when I see myself on screen. Hell, I did a podcast with Wilmington’s Cable Access channel for years. It was called Bridging the Digital Divide; which is what the chasm between the technology haves and the technology have-nots is called. We won an award and a small loyal group of listeners loved it. But I don’t know. I’ve never listened to a full episode. I was too self-conscious.
So, a video series? I dunno…
As The Fates would have it, Julie is a teacher and that kept her busy for months. She’d occasionally make a comment but I thought her idea would remain just that, and idea. Truthfully, being in that trough distracted me from worrying overmuch. But then came the 4th of July.
Julie invited me to her annual party. It was a sweltering good time. Both because it was roughly the temperature of the inside of a bonfire and because a hard of hearing introvert gets stressed out by raucous parties. That’s not to say I don’t have a good time. It’s just a lot for your intrepid narrator. But then something happened that’s never happened before.
I had a partner in crime.
As the sun began to set and the part began to wind down, we migrated indoors. Where there’s more light. Which aids the whole reading lips thing. And once in the living room, the conversations would occasionally splinter. And my head made like a ping-pong ball missing each paddle. Cross-talk is one of the (many) banes of a person with hearing loss. (Of Deaf gain. But that’s a huge topic, one that I have already blogged about because I read a book. Shocker. I know.) Normally I’m left to fight that diabolical doo-doo head alone.
Not this time.
I popped on over to Julie’s chair and we gave each other a look and a shrug. And in that moment, boys and girls and people of all genders, a show was born.
We began texting on the regular and a couple of weeks later, we met over zoom and recorded our first three shows. Julie put on her teacher’s hat (that is if she ever doffs it) and came up with topics galore and lesson plans. I put on my tech librarian hat (I most assuredly never doff that one!) and re-learned OBS, a free recording software I used during the pandemic. I also remembered that Microsoft has a free video editing tool, clipchamp. She’s got the charisma and easy style that is paramount to a good show host. I’ve got the deeper explanations that is the hallmark of an introvert talking about a passion. We’ve got a good thing going.
What do you get when you put an extroverted hard of hearing teacher and an introverted hard of hearing librarian together? You get two people who just want to help other people. You get Hearing Things with Julie and Brad.
You can join our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/484001504321168
Or if Facebook is not your bag, you can…what do the yoots say…oh yes, “smash the subscribe button” over on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hearingthingswithjulieandbrad
And because, I’ve taken a liking to Haiku:
Hearing things with us
is never completely right,
eggcorns then abound!
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