Click and Clack we are not. For many reasons. But to stay on target for this site, we’ll discuss how our hearing loss affects our relationship with cars.
Julie
I have a complicated relationship with cars. My hearing loss invades every part of my life, with driving being no exception.
Here are a few examples:
Going Topless
I climb into my Solara convertible, drop the top down, and crank up the stereo system, blasting my personal Sinatra anthem, “The Lady is a Tramp”. With my leopard print scarf tied over my hair and my Jackie O inspired sunglasses completing the look – I am the epitome of elegance and class as I veer onto the highway.
In reality, I look deranged. I also can’t hear a thing because of the rushing of the wind flapping the scarf against my hearing aid microphones. The music becomes nearly impossible to enjoy as my scarf starts to slip, my hair blows in my eyes despite the sunglasses, and the end result is that the hair style I was trying to preserve with that ridiculous scarf ends up being windblown and raggedy by the time I reach my final destination.
Like most things, I remain undeterred, and continue the ridiculous process repeatedly on days that the weather holds here in New England so I can enjoy my convertible rides as often as possible. I derive enough enjoyment out of my jaunts in Francis Albert, as the car is so aptly named, that hearing aids be damned – I am doing this “My Way”!
Well, Hello, Officer!
I can hear the sirens just fine. My propensity for getting pulled over far too many times than should be allowed over the years has nothing to do with my hearing. I happen to have a bit of a lead foot and an award winning smile that has gotten me out of a few…situations…with the blue crew.
On a more serious note, as my hearing has declined, conversation has become increasingly difficult – particularly when engaging with people for the first time in a stressful, unfamiliar situation. It is a likely scenario where I may not hear a verbal direction, and my back may remain turned – an action that can easily be misconstrued during a heightened encounter and result in unexpected or unintended consequences.
Thankfully, the MCDHH has developed a resource for deaf/hard of hearing folks to keep on hand in their vehicles. This visor card is excellent and can be handed to emergency personnel to support effective communication and minimize miscommunication.
Pump it Up!
That pesky alert that comes on when tire pressure is low sends me into a state of dramatic hair flipping, gasping, and sordid fits. I cannot deal with it because in the very busy and often animated, engaging and fun life I lead – I don’t have time for such nonsense. Unfortunately, the nonsense must be dealt with or my good time will screech to a guaranteed halt when a tire misfires, blows up, or runs aground. Ugh.
The air machines at the gas stations – though simple in design – are my archnemesis. I have been told that there is a noise of some sort that alerts you to halt the filling of the tire. Or so I have been told – as I cannot hear it, though I have tried.
I am blessed with a wit and charm that I employ at any opportunity – but especially when I require assistance at a gas station. Once again, though my hearing may be but wrecked, my sparkling personality and flashing smile saves the day. I am forever grateful to the kindness of strangers at many a gas station that have helped me with tires, oil refills, and wiper fluid!
Brad offers his take on cars and all that comes with them – read on for another perspective!
Brad
I’ve yet to have a problem hearing police cars and fire trucks and ambulances (oh my) racing down the street. So far, my hearing loss has spared my higher pitches. But that’s not to sayI don’t have hearing-related challenges when I’m in the car. Here are but three of them.
Under Pressure
This one is weird. I’ve no idea if this is just me, if it’s due to ill-fitting molds, or if it happens to all DHH people.
Window-related pressure changes hurt my ears.
I don’t like having the windows open on the highway. The wind from the open window at higher speeds buffets my bionic ears so that I can’t hear anything in the car; be it music or mates. This means I must bust out one of the only car rules I have: windows up people!
If my passenger decides to be recalcitrant and doesn’t roll up the window there’s a pressure imbalance. (How many people remember having to actually roll up the window?) The wind comes in through the open window and pinballs off my closed window. I can feel my eardrums mirroring the motion. I could always roll my window back down and ease the ache but then I’d not be able to hear the ornery git in the seat next to me. So I’ll ask again. When they do and the window finishes the long and winding road to the top of the door, my ears pop. Just like when a plane pressurizes the cabin or reaches cruising altitude. And on those rare occasions when there’s people in my backseat, having the back windows open but not the front dances the same jig on my eardrums.
I’m going to guess it’s not due to ill-fitting molds because this has happened with all my aids and all my molds. So, what say you, dear reader, does this happen to you?
What Strange Noise?
This one isn’t weird. It’s probably the first problem everyone would think of.
I can’t hear if my car is making a strange noise. And I’m not just talking about backing into a pole and not hearing it, either.
This does cause me some consternation. What if something’s wrong but I don’t hear it until it’s really really really bad? I tell myself if something is really really really bad, then I’d feel it in how the car is driving. I tell myself that that’s good enough. And it is. Because there are plenty of people in my life who have better hearing than I do and will surely tell me if they hear the hamster wheel throwing a rod. That’s how internal combustion engines work, right? Hamsters on wheels?
Anyway….
Once upon a time I had a car that had an issue with its license plate. The bottom two screws weren’t just loose, they were missing. Whenever the wind would blow up from under it, the plate did an impression of that famous Marylin Monroe picture. Or so I’m told. I could never hear it. The same couldn’t be said for any passengers I had. Fortunately, there was an easy fix. No, not new screws. That would be too simple. I’d just turn up the volume.
Which brings me to…
I’m My Speakers’ Nemesis
My first car was a 1990 Ford Taurus Wagon. I can remember the day my dad brought it home. It was the same day I went to see the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie. It took him longer than expected to finish the paperwork or something. I don’t know what it was exactly. I was too nervous that we’d miss the start of the movie!
But I digress.
When I was using that car, I wasn’t using my bionic ears. Because I didn’t have them yet. So whenever I wanted to rock out, I’d pop in a cassette, usually Metallica or Aerosmith, and crank up the volume. It didn’t take too long before the music would change, before it started to sound like it was being played on the other side of a curtain flapping in the breeze. I’d blown the speaker. Then I’d have to turn the volume down and strain to hear it. This happened to the Corsica, the Malibu, and the Escape I had, too. Fortunately, by the time I got the Imprezza, I had bionic ears and the speakers were spared.
Still I have to be careful. Just because I don’t need to turn up the volume to curtain-flapping levels doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Bionic Ears are smarter than car speakers. They’ll not boost the volume to unsafe levels. They know better. But the car? It’s a dumb as a bag of lugnuts.
Horseless carriages
are soon to be driverless?
That’s the hope I hear.
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