Down the Tubes Productions

If ever you see me looking up at you under heavily lidded eyes with my hand cradled against the left side of my temple, please know that you have earned The Look – which those of you that know me well can almost certainly picture from my above description. You are likely to receive The Look because you have said something with the best of intentions but completely devoid of any and all common sense – when it comes to my hearing loss. 

I have compiled a few of my absolute favorite summoners of The Look: 

Mom Found The Clear Masks

(Sorry, Mom, but had to bring this classic back from 2020)

My Mom was innocently scrolling Facebook at some inane hour of the morning desperate to fill the time between dusk and dawn during one of her sleepless nights.  She stumbled upon one of the first news articles describing the creation of “clear masks for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing”.  For those that were unfamiliar with this ingenious design, the panel that covers the mouth on a standard cloth or surgical mask were instead replaced with a clear panel which allowed the Deaf and Hard of Hearing to be able to lip read and view facial expressions to support understanding of spoken words – a complication that we were all up against with full coverage masks. Through the long night, my Mom retained this new factoid and was absolutely bubbling over to share this with me once the sun had risen to an acceptable height in the sky of a new day. 

The conversation is below: 

Mom: “JULIE! You’ll never GUESS what I saw on FACEBOOK!”

Me: (bracing myself for another video of a dog that talks) “What? What did you find this time?”

Mom: “CLEAR MASKS! I found CLEAR MASKS for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing!”

Me: (interest piqued, relieved that it’s not a talking dog) “No way! Tell me about them – “

Mom: (describes the masks in great detail, enthusiasm is evident) 

Me: “That is really a wonderful invention – wish I’d thought of it – but I wonder about the efficiency in protection -”

(I have now been caught off completely by my Mom as she is now bursting like a shaken bottle of champagne)

Mom: “YOU NEED ONE OF THESE!”

Me: “No, I really don’t….”

Mom: “YES! YOU NEED ONE! IT WILL HELP YOU!”

Me: “Mom…I don’t think you’re understanding this…”

Mom: “YOU NEED ONE – THEY’RE FOR THE DEAF AND HARD OF HEARING! IF YOU WEAR ONE IT WILL HELP YOU HEAR EVERYONE!”

Me: (Silence, measured breaths) “Mom…yes, I know they are for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing…but I’m not trying to read my own lips…My wearing one on MY face isn’t going to help…”

Mom: (long pause, like really long)  “OHHHHhhhh…”

The Sound Machine

I mentioned to a friend many years ago that I was having trouble quieting my brain at night and that even with reading before bed, I was having trouble slowing my racing thoughts.  I was met with this suggestion: “Have you thought about getting a sound machine? They are really soothing.”

For those that are not aware – my hearing aids come out of my ears at night. I do not sleep with them in. I cannot hear a thing with them out.

This was not a good suggestion.

Did You Hear That?

He is rarely mentioned, but it is time to bring Mark, my husband, into the limelight for this part of the post.  As we have aged, many things have slowly adjusted but one thing has remained constant – I still can’t hear. This fact, however, seems to continue to elude this saint of a man – because his favorite expression, usually uttered with urgency reserved for the ending of the world, “Did you HEAR that!?” – followed by a mad dash to locate the source of the offending sound. 

Nope. Didn’t hear it, Mark…not this time, not the last time, and certainly not the next time. 

A personal favorite was the purchase of the new(ish) washing machine. He came home and proudly declared that it is a quieter version so it will not be too loud. 

The end result? I have no idea when the wash is done.

Have You Thought About Being An Interpreter? 

And here we round out this list with one of my all-time favorite comments by a well intentioned coworker – who was gushing over my advocacy abilities for our most vulnerable students, and suggesting that I do more in the public arena for disability advocacy.  This poor soul suggested that I become an interpreter for the Deaf.

Let that sink in.

I will be sure to continue to update this list as we all continue on this journey of understanding together – because I am confident that The Look will make an appearance again in the very near future –