Down the Tubes Productions

Ah, Springtime!

Ah, choo! 

Excuse me. 

Springtime is Sneeze Time for me, which is like Hammer Time. But without the pants. It’s when my allergies strap on Boba Fett’s jetpack and fly me to the moon. I take allergy pills year round. I’ve still not found out what I’m allergic to in the winter. (I swear my house isn’t that dusty!) But anyway, when Spring rolls around, I have to take two allergy medications; a pill and a spray. If I forget the latter, my sinuses swell so much my entire face hurts. Even when I do remember, the time between waking and medicating is uncomfortable. 

The first thing I do when I wake up is pop my bionic ears in. Once they’re in I start some podcast or some tunes. If I don’t start playing something quickly that doesn’t mean I don’t start hearing something quickly. My tinnitus wakes up quicker than me. Without something to capture my pre-caffeinated attention, my tinnitus will invariably wrap a tentacle around me and pull me in. (Much like the Sarlac pulled in Boba Fett.) In the springtime I’ve blessed with a second groggy challenge. Do I chance a tinnitus-centric day in order to delay an uncomfortable set of biologic ears?

In Spring, I always wake up with inflamed sinuses. When my sinuses are all hulked up, they pinch the eustachian tubes. If you go down those tubes, you’ll get to the home of the Three Hearing Amigos; the incus, malleus, and stapes. Those are the bones behind the ear drum that transfer sounds to our little snail-shaped friend, the cochlear. But the tubes do far more than just give our bones homes. 

As the Cleveland Clinic tells me, the eustachian tubes:

• Drain fluid from your middle ear: This reduces your risk of an ear infection.
• Equalize air pressure in your middle ear: Your eustachian tubes do this by opening when you swallow or yawn. This lets in small amounts of air so that the air pressure in your middle ear and the environment match, and your eardrum can work like it should.
• Protect your middle ear: Your tubes close when you’re not swallowing or yawning, which protects your middle ear from intruders like viruses and bacteria.

Those first two come into play, foul play, in the Spring for me. Overnight, my allergy meds have worn off. As I understand it, this most likely causes a fluid build up in my sinuses, which can leak into my eustachian tubes. But the tubes can’t drain properly because they’re pinched by the swollen sinuses. The pinching narrows the tubes, which increases air pressure in my middle ear. Putting my moldings in is a frightful prospect. I’m partially plugging the outer ear when I put them in. This further flummoxes the air pressure ratio. The pinched eustachian tubes change the air pressing against my eardrum from the inner ear and the molds change the air pressing against my eardrum from the outer ear. 

That’s a lot of things to deal with before I’m caffeinated. 

Fortunately, the medications soon clear up this issue and I can enjoy the six days that make up Boston Spring. Sure there’s always a danger of a Spring shower, but the weather is cool enough that I rarely go out without a jacket or hoodie. And this year, that’s a good thing!

As I write this, it’s raining. It’s been raining for three days. Tomorrow we might get a break. Then it’s supposed to rain for another three days. There’s a saying “April showers bring May flowers.” I take umbrage with that for a couple of reasons. First, it’s May. Second, I’m not a big fan of flowers. Sure I can appreciate them but they’re also a source of my allergy problems. As the school yard ditty goes: “rain rain go away! Come again another day…when I’m off somewhere else enjoying a pleasant hike.” Ok. Maybe not that last bit. 

But speaking of hikes…

Spring hikes are great. Not as spectacular as Fall hikes but still pretty dang good. They require fewer layers than Winter hikes but still allow for hoods to protect my bionic ears, which I can’t wear on Summer hikes. On hikes above 65 degrees, I start sweating as much as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I’ll be blogging about summer in the future, so let me get back to Spring.

When I’m traipsing through the woods in springtime, I do have to watch out for rain.While it’s been particularly rainy this year, there’s always a chance no matter the year. So I always wear a hoodie. Springtime, too, sees more people than Fall. I get why, too. I love winter but do feel the Spring fever after a long winter. Even an introvert needs to get out of his Fortress of Solitude every now and again. The more-crowded trails are the reason I need to keep my bionic ears in. 

I’ve been asked why I bother wearing my bionic ears while hiking. It’s a safety thing. For me and the others on the trail. If it were just a matter of facilitating small talk, I’d not think twice (nor even once) about popping them out and leaving ‘em in the car. But most people on the trails aren’t there to chat with strangers. An amicable “Hello!” or an inquisitive “How much further does this bloody hill go on before I can see the gorgeous overlook I keep hearing about?” is usually the extent of it. So it’s not the talking that demands I keep in the aids. It’s more the rumbling of a mountain bike barrelling towards me from behind or the possibility of an injured hiker on the trail; them or me. I need to hear my surroundings to keep myself and others safe. 

The assault the blossoming flora wrecks on my allergies is worth the chance to get out into nature after a long winter. 

Allergies wake up, 
be it sleeping or hiking.
Springtime renewal.